Just say NO to saying NO
Suggested topic from one of our readers out in the etherwebspace:
"ignoring the voice that keeps you from going to yoga when you really should go"
A fine subject. Thanks, reader.
The issue at hand is really 2-fold.
The first: discernment. (hmm)
The second: discipline. (ouch)
If we're going to talk about voices, we've got to talk about what we're talking about. In yoga class, we often hear about listening to your "Inner Knower." Sometimes, I know exactly what that inner voice is saying. Most of the time, though, there are several inner voices. (Hold the Zyprexa.) Recently, I was in savasana, hanging with my inner voices, hearing something like this: "...savasana is my favorite, I wonder how long I have left. I can't tell whether it's been 2 minutes or 20...dang, it could be over any second now and I haven't gotten my nugget of wisdom from the depths of my spacious inner quietude yet! I'm running out of time! Come on! I need my eternal luminous essence to kick in, like, now. Be quiet, Karen, cut it out. Just be here. You're messing up the whole thing. But don't be judgemental. Be gentle with yourself. But not so gentle nothing happens. Damn, the teacher's talking again, I'm going to miss my window! Don't listen to him. Listen to your freaking spirit. Now. Now. Now. You can choose this, or you can choose that, but if you are suffering, you are choosing to suffer. Ah ha! That was it! I heard it! Shit! What does it mean?"
The deal with discernment is that, on the one hand, it's a no-brainer. I know which voice is the Voice. If I don't know, I'm not hearing it, I'm arguing with myself. And then on the other hand, sometimes things are complex. That's where the discerning part comes in. Take music. You are walking down a noisy street and you hear someone playing the violin pretty nicely a few blocks down. You decide its good violin playing, basically, because it's not street chatter. But say you aren't on the street. Say you are on the jury for an orchestral audition, and you hear 13 skilled violinists play the same excerpt one after the other. Which one is the one? You* can't tell. Only someone who listens all day for years and years can tell. We've got to spend lots of time listening. And time takes time.
Which brings us to the second issue: Discipline. My old minister was telling me long ago about folks who make the excuse, "but you don't understand how strong the temptation was!" He explained that when two teams play a game, it would be absurd for the losing team to claim that they knew the power of the winning team. The losers, by definition, did not meet the winning team all the way to their limit, and therefore could not claim to know where that limit was. Only the one who succeeds in resisting the temptation knows how strong it is, not the one who gives in. Only when we know the power of what lures us do we we gain power over it. Sucks.
I have never been a fan of fasting, personally. I don't like hard and fast rules, in general, but trying to restrict my food intake rivals feline teethbrushing for Most Sisyphaen Exercise. To illustrate, here's a peek into my most recent diet-restriction record: "Mmm, butter. Oh, right, no butter. It's better with butter. But no butter this week. None? Really? I won't even have that much. I know, maybe it's the energy of the butter - the energy of mass farming or the Jewel Osco - so I will cleanse the butter's energy with my intention. I hereby intend this butter to be pure as peas from the garden of a green-thumbed saint, OM MANI PADME HUM VIPARITA KARANI AMEN. Oh good, that was easy. But, if it was easy maybe it didn't work. If my intention is capable of transubstantiation, there's no need for a fast at all! So... there must be something else going on here. Should I meditate before I transubstantiate the butter? I need to get Reiki certified. Level 2 at least. Maybe just skip the butter. But I want it. Ah, yes. I want it. The point is to resist my desires! But what if I wanted only living foods? Would I then fast from them and only eat garbage, to resist my desires? I don't know, but if I would just let go of the damn butter, I wouldn't have to."
It has been said, "I only own what I can afford to lose." If I must have it, then I am subject to it. Which means, truth be told, on most days I can be described as subject to my body, my mind, my cellphone. It doesn't have to be that way, of course. Because the most essential Self is not bound to the 3D vehicle, the body can and will be discarded. In that light, my mind and body are possessions which belong to me, to care for and use. But do I regard them that way? I must discover how to "own" them well by training to resist their cravings. I don't mean to suggest that any of us go to extremes here. Some are called to that path, it's true, but, we can be thankful, most of us aren't. And really, even if I felt the calling to live on nothing but prana, I would have to begin by learning to bring my ass to class on the days when I don't feel like it.
So, to respond succinctly, reader, the only way to ignore the voice that keeps you from your practice, is to do just that. However, "until we learn to rise before dawn, we use alarm clocks." So, one practical solution is to have an "accountability partner," someone, like your teacher or a yoga buddy, whom you tell that you're going to be in class. For best results, choose an accountability partner whose esteem you value, who shows co-dependent tendencies, an outspoken and confrontational manner, and will likely take personal offense to a no-show from you. Works like a charm.
*Do I mean to suggest that the readership does not include highly skilled listeners of music? I do not. In fact, with this little violin story I send a shout out to Stefan. And Adam. And Dave and Barbara and Leanne and Cori and Jose and Alicia and Alina and Ben and Aaron and Hudson and Frank, and all the many others among you who know damn well what good violin playing sounds like.
"ignoring the voice that keeps you from going to yoga when you really should go"
A fine subject. Thanks, reader.
The issue at hand is really 2-fold.
The first: discernment. (hmm)
The second: discipline. (ouch)
If we're going to talk about voices, we've got to talk about what we're talking about. In yoga class, we often hear about listening to your "Inner Knower." Sometimes, I know exactly what that inner voice is saying. Most of the time, though, there are several inner voices. (Hold the Zyprexa.) Recently, I was in savasana, hanging with my inner voices, hearing something like this: "...savasana is my favorite, I wonder how long I have left. I can't tell whether it's been 2 minutes or 20...dang, it could be over any second now and I haven't gotten my nugget of wisdom from the depths of my spacious inner quietude yet! I'm running out of time! Come on! I need my eternal luminous essence to kick in, like, now. Be quiet, Karen, cut it out. Just be here. You're messing up the whole thing. But don't be judgemental. Be gentle with yourself. But not so gentle nothing happens. Damn, the teacher's talking again, I'm going to miss my window! Don't listen to him. Listen to your freaking spirit. Now. Now. Now. You can choose this, or you can choose that, but if you are suffering, you are choosing to suffer. Ah ha! That was it! I heard it! Shit! What does it mean?"
The deal with discernment is that, on the one hand, it's a no-brainer. I know which voice is the Voice. If I don't know, I'm not hearing it, I'm arguing with myself. And then on the other hand, sometimes things are complex. That's where the discerning part comes in. Take music. You are walking down a noisy street and you hear someone playing the violin pretty nicely a few blocks down. You decide its good violin playing, basically, because it's not street chatter. But say you aren't on the street. Say you are on the jury for an orchestral audition, and you hear 13 skilled violinists play the same excerpt one after the other. Which one is the one? You* can't tell. Only someone who listens all day for years and years can tell. We've got to spend lots of time listening. And time takes time.
Which brings us to the second issue: Discipline. My old minister was telling me long ago about folks who make the excuse, "but you don't understand how strong the temptation was!" He explained that when two teams play a game, it would be absurd for the losing team to claim that they knew the power of the winning team. The losers, by definition, did not meet the winning team all the way to their limit, and therefore could not claim to know where that limit was. Only the one who succeeds in resisting the temptation knows how strong it is, not the one who gives in. Only when we know the power of what lures us do we we gain power over it. Sucks.
I have never been a fan of fasting, personally. I don't like hard and fast rules, in general, but trying to restrict my food intake rivals feline teethbrushing for Most Sisyphaen Exercise. To illustrate, here's a peek into my most recent diet-restriction record: "Mmm, butter. Oh, right, no butter. It's better with butter. But no butter this week. None? Really? I won't even have that much. I know, maybe it's the energy of the butter - the energy of mass farming or the Jewel Osco - so I will cleanse the butter's energy with my intention. I hereby intend this butter to be pure as peas from the garden of a green-thumbed saint, OM MANI PADME HUM VIPARITA KARANI AMEN. Oh good, that was easy. But, if it was easy maybe it didn't work. If my intention is capable of transubstantiation, there's no need for a fast at all! So... there must be something else going on here. Should I meditate before I transubstantiate the butter? I need to get Reiki certified. Level 2 at least. Maybe just skip the butter. But I want it. Ah, yes. I want it. The point is to resist my desires! But what if I wanted only living foods? Would I then fast from them and only eat garbage, to resist my desires? I don't know, but if I would just let go of the damn butter, I wouldn't have to."
It has been said, "I only own what I can afford to lose." If I must have it, then I am subject to it. Which means, truth be told, on most days I can be described as subject to my body, my mind, my cellphone. It doesn't have to be that way, of course. Because the most essential Self is not bound to the 3D vehicle, the body can and will be discarded. In that light, my mind and body are possessions which belong to me, to care for and use. But do I regard them that way? I must discover how to "own" them well by training to resist their cravings. I don't mean to suggest that any of us go to extremes here. Some are called to that path, it's true, but, we can be thankful, most of us aren't. And really, even if I felt the calling to live on nothing but prana, I would have to begin by learning to bring my ass to class on the days when I don't feel like it.
So, to respond succinctly, reader, the only way to ignore the voice that keeps you from your practice, is to do just that. However, "until we learn to rise before dawn, we use alarm clocks." So, one practical solution is to have an "accountability partner," someone, like your teacher or a yoga buddy, whom you tell that you're going to be in class. For best results, choose an accountability partner whose esteem you value, who shows co-dependent tendencies, an outspoken and confrontational manner, and will likely take personal offense to a no-show from you. Works like a charm.
*Do I mean to suggest that the readership does not include highly skilled listeners of music? I do not. In fact, with this little violin story I send a shout out to Stefan. And Adam. And Dave and Barbara and Leanne and Cori and Jose and Alicia and Alina and Ben and Aaron and Hudson and Frank, and all the many others among you who know damn well what good violin playing sounds like.
Posted by Karen Faith at December 3, 2008 
Categories: violin playing, advice, fasting, mental problems
Categories: violin playing, advice, fasting, mental problems
I find prepayment works, too. (Though all intentions fall before the Romulan Death Flu.)
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Dare I say to give into that voice?
I realize that everyone has had different life experiences, so I can really only convey what has worked for me, and that is to listen and trust yourself, even if it ‘appears’ to be contradictory to what you know to be good for you.
There was a time in my life that I put a lot of pressure on myself to work out and eat nearly perfectly. Physically, I felt great and developed into the best shape of my life. After a while, however, what I previously viewed as fun, transitioned into resentment. I began feeling like I had to ‘force’ myself to keep it up. Eventually, even though I kept up the same routine, my body reverted back to how it looked before I began working out. After a couple years of fighting with myself, I made a conscious decision to stop fighting and start listening to myself, regardless of what the outcome would be. I acknowledged that I could gain an unknown amount of weight, become unhealthy, whatever. And although that sounded horrible, not to mention dangerous, I decided I could no longer live that way and I just had to have faith in my inner voice and who I was as a human being.
After making that decision, I stopped working out completely and ate something nearly every day that maybe I would allow myself a couple times a month before. I probably gained 10 pounds…I never weighed myself, so I can’t be certain. After a few months though, my food cravings started to change and the weight came off. I even started craving physical activity. These were not conscious decisions; I just naturally started ‘wanting’ these things. I think, psychologically, I was testing myself – was I really committed to trusting myself, even if that meant reverting back to old bad habits, which I wanted so desperately to leave behind me? I think, once my inner voice could answer ‘absolutely yes’ to that question, is when it gave in to itself. At that time, my body took shape again, but the more important transformation was the ‘self trust’ that carried into other parts of my life.
Today, because of that experience, above anyone or anything, I listen to myself, even if what I’m telling myself seems to be contradictory to my overall goal. So, if I plan on going to yoga or some other style of workout, but then I hear my voice say ‘I don’t feel like it’, I ask myself again whether or not I want to go. If I can honestly answer ‘no’ then I listen to myself. I don’t judge myself anymore and label it as being weak or lacking discipline, even if that means I decide to just watch a movie and eat ice cream instead. Sometimes though (probably more than half) when I ask myself a second time whether or not I want to go, I find myself saying ‘yes’, and then I go on my own free will. This only works though, because I never force it. I trust, respect and honor myself enough to provide myself with choices and then act according to my choice, without judgment.
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Amanda, thanks for sharing that. I am on your team, here, for sure! I don't mean to imply that we should be aggressive with ourselves to do anything - and if we are, we might be on the wrong track altogether. I was making an assumption that "the voice which keeps us from our practice" is in opposition to our highest good. That isn't always true, and our "practice" can shift. A great teacher once told me about becoming a mother, and, by necessity, giving up a regular asana practice for the practice of mothering! Yoga is not just working the body, and includes practicing gentleness, practicing stillness, practicing going out dancing all night long... Thanks for bringing this up - it's a multi-dimensional issue, and requires lots of listening and compassion. I did realize after I wrote this entry that I didn't sufficiently cover "discernment." How do we know whether its time to rest or time to work? That's the trick that takes time and patience to learn. Your story is really useful in illustrating how our inners always know best.
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