The sun will come out, tomorrow.
Creepy families are still families.
Friends, it is still raining. I know that you are discouraged. I am also discouraged. But, if the internet speaks the truth, which it sometimes does, tomorrow we will enjoy the sun (if we have managed to avoid Swine Flu.)
YOGA CLASS NEWS:
1. I am subbing for Tatiana this week at Yoga Now! Saturday 11am and Wednesday 7:30pm. Bring it.
2. No Happy Hour Yoga this week, but next week is ON.
3. Sunday night Restorative at 7:15 resumes this weekend.
4. Next Saturday: SOUND MIND YOGA, the monthly restorative workshop 1-3pm. Please do.
While I feel slightly, so slightly inclined to write to you today about drawing light energy from the limitless source while in the face of discouragement, failure and suffering, I think I will have to pass. I must pass today because my mother, this woman who has been inexplicably cheerful for 54 years, told me last night that she feels like a worthless waste of space, and that pretty much crushes my mojo. My mom has been sick for some time now. The first few months she kept it secret, trying to keep up her spark, but things are not going well, and she is losing heart.
I like to make fun of my mom, in general, because she is fruity and Southern and a total whackadoo most of the time. She doesn't say bad words (or even rated G words which reference PG13 subjects), and greets surprise guests at the door will a high pitched shriek of "If I'da knowed you's comin' I'da baked a cake!" (And she would have, too.) The thing is, as wildly out of touch with her shadow as she has always been, and as verging-on-insane as I have believed that to make her, I actually appreciate the quality of cheerfulness, even blind, demented cheerfulness, that she has always been willing to offer. I know folks who don't do this, who outright refuse to brighten their countenance under the guise of "keeping it real," and frankly, I think they are assholes. What really sucks right now is that my mom, who has worked all her life to keep it really really unreal, is facing something so painful and debilitating she can not even fake a smile, which, you'll have to trust me, is saying a LOT.
I tried to tell her on the phone how not worthless she is. I tried to remind her that there are thousands of people all over the planet (ok, mostly in the Southern United States) who smile every time they think of her. I recounted to her how important her faith has been to her, and that her God is loving and powerful and right there with her, but as I spoke to her, I kinda wanted to have a word with her God myself: "Mister Sir, your highness holiness: WTF? She's been captain of your cheerleading squad for all her life - does that not come with a benefits package?" It does not, apparently. My mother, like the hundreds of generations of devoted worshippers before her, must live her life as a human, within the same confines of time and space, the same unanswered prayers as the rest of us.
What I do believe, as I have shared before, is that there is, in fact, a part of each of us which does not suffer. I believe this part is pure, infinite, free of harm, full of wisdom, compassion, inspiration, joy and power, and that we bless ourselves when we bring our awareness to that sacredness. It is a longstanding tradition on the search for "God" to invoke the presence of holiness by naming its qualities, so I do this everyday in order to fuel my last remaining belief in the miraculous. I admit that I hold this believe because it seems helpful to me, not because I have any proof. But isn't that what faith is for? If it were proven, it would not require faith at all, just common sense, a helpful thing I am not at all as fond of. Common sense tells me that what my mom needs is a ton of money, better doctors, some psychiatric meds and a pedicure. Common sense also tell me that she might get all of those things and stay sick. I'd rather believe that she has a tiny seed of divine perfection within her, and that if she waters it, she will free her spirit, if not her body, from her suffering. (It is a much less expensive method besides.)
Ack. All y'all pray for my mama.
Friends, it is still raining. I know that you are discouraged. I am also discouraged. But, if the internet speaks the truth, which it sometimes does, tomorrow we will enjoy the sun (if we have managed to avoid Swine Flu.)
YOGA CLASS NEWS:
1. I am subbing for Tatiana this week at Yoga Now! Saturday 11am and Wednesday 7:30pm. Bring it.
2. No Happy Hour Yoga this week, but next week is ON.
3. Sunday night Restorative at 7:15 resumes this weekend.
4. Next Saturday: SOUND MIND YOGA, the monthly restorative workshop 1-3pm. Please do.
While I feel slightly, so slightly inclined to write to you today about drawing light energy from the limitless source while in the face of discouragement, failure and suffering, I think I will have to pass. I must pass today because my mother, this woman who has been inexplicably cheerful for 54 years, told me last night that she feels like a worthless waste of space, and that pretty much crushes my mojo. My mom has been sick for some time now. The first few months she kept it secret, trying to keep up her spark, but things are not going well, and she is losing heart.
I like to make fun of my mom, in general, because she is fruity and Southern and a total whackadoo most of the time. She doesn't say bad words (or even rated G words which reference PG13 subjects), and greets surprise guests at the door will a high pitched shriek of "If I'da knowed you's comin' I'da baked a cake!" (And she would have, too.) The thing is, as wildly out of touch with her shadow as she has always been, and as verging-on-insane as I have believed that to make her, I actually appreciate the quality of cheerfulness, even blind, demented cheerfulness, that she has always been willing to offer. I know folks who don't do this, who outright refuse to brighten their countenance under the guise of "keeping it real," and frankly, I think they are assholes. What really sucks right now is that my mom, who has worked all her life to keep it really really unreal, is facing something so painful and debilitating she can not even fake a smile, which, you'll have to trust me, is saying a LOT.
I tried to tell her on the phone how not worthless she is. I tried to remind her that there are thousands of people all over the planet (ok, mostly in the Southern United States) who smile every time they think of her. I recounted to her how important her faith has been to her, and that her God is loving and powerful and right there with her, but as I spoke to her, I kinda wanted to have a word with her God myself: "Mister Sir, your highness holiness: WTF? She's been captain of your cheerleading squad for all her life - does that not come with a benefits package?" It does not, apparently. My mother, like the hundreds of generations of devoted worshippers before her, must live her life as a human, within the same confines of time and space, the same unanswered prayers as the rest of us.
What I do believe, as I have shared before, is that there is, in fact, a part of each of us which does not suffer. I believe this part is pure, infinite, free of harm, full of wisdom, compassion, inspiration, joy and power, and that we bless ourselves when we bring our awareness to that sacredness. It is a longstanding tradition on the search for "God" to invoke the presence of holiness by naming its qualities, so I do this everyday in order to fuel my last remaining belief in the miraculous. I admit that I hold this believe because it seems helpful to me, not because I have any proof. But isn't that what faith is for? If it were proven, it would not require faith at all, just common sense, a helpful thing I am not at all as fond of. Common sense tells me that what my mom needs is a ton of money, better doctors, some psychiatric meds and a pedicure. Common sense also tell me that she might get all of those things and stay sick. I'd rather believe that she has a tiny seed of divine perfection within her, and that if she waters it, she will free her spirit, if not her body, from her suffering. (It is a much less expensive method besides.)
Ack. All y'all pray for my mama.
surely will mam thank God your gettin real---finally
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